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Dear {{ first name | Legend}},
How do you influence the people in charge? You might think the term “people in charge” refers only to managers. Nope, it’s anyone who has more authority and power than you in any given situation.
Clients
Buyers
Bosses
Do you intentionally try to manage them? Or do you just go with whatever comes your way?
Turns out those who do get more opportunities, rise the ranks faster, and make a lot more money.
Because if you don’t influence the people in charge, they will control your outcomes.
Whether you get the next project, the next deal or the next promotion, it comes down to them.
There is a phrase people love to say (I have said it many times myself):
“I don’t play politics.”
It sounds principled. Above it all. You know what?
It’s actually not. Because politics is just human behavior at work.
Who trusts who.
Who listens to who.
Who gets the benefit of the doubt.
As Melody Wilding puts it:
“Politics are just another word for human dynamics in the workplace.”
I recently interviewed Melody on Influence Anyone. She is an executive coach and licensed therapist who helps high-achieving professionals—what she calls “sensitive strivers”—turn emotional intelligence into a strategic advantage at work. She’s the author of Managing Up and Trust Yourself, and her insights on influence, communication, and workplace dynamics have been featured in Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Business Insider.
If you want to learn how to influence the people in charge, flip “politics” on its head, read on!
Heartset: You are avoiding managing up NOT because of your principles, you avoid it because you don’t know how
You hate playing politics, you get really uncomfortable managing those in charge. I get it.
When I was in the corporate world, I hated it too. Then I read Melody’s book and I interviewed her. All the stories I’ve been telling myself instantly fell apart.
It’s not because I had these principles about not playing politics, it’s that I never had the tools to manage upwards. And it made me so uncomfortable, I just avoided it (frankly it’s probably a big reason why I lost my dream job.)
“It’s putting your head in the sand and ignoring reality.”
If you don’t want to be pushed around and feel like you have no control over your future from those in charge, you must influence up.
Mindset: Managing up is not sucking up, it’s influencing up
Sucking up is about being liked. Managing up is about being effective. So no, don’t think about influencing those in charge as doing it for them. Do it for YOU.
“Managing up is about taking control of your own career… not being jerked around by the whims of the people or the environment around you.”
Are you convinced that learning how to influence up is going to help you become more effective and maybe even less uncomfortable?
Here is the playbook 👇🏽
Skillset: The Influence Up playbook
Three ways to start influencing up without becoming someone you don’t respect.
ONE: Escape the Contributor Trap
This is where employees get stuck doing the execution and business owners get stuck as a vendor (as opposed to a partner—guess which gets paid more?)
You say yes to everything
You become reliable for doing the work
You are seen as a doer
Not seen as strategic and not promoted
You work harder (back to 1)
And on and on it goes.
So how do you escape? Instead of saying yes to everything, try this “If we do that, we risk X. I’d suggest we prioritize Y.”
Anytime you disagree, you should tell them why and what to do instead.
TWO: Set Boundaries
Employees struggle to say no to their bosses, business owners struggle to say no to their clients.
But when you don’t set boundaries, you are teaching them how to treat you.
Three ways to set boundaries
Conditional yes (for urgent requests)
It means saying yes now, but make sure you let them know that it won’t always be the case.
“We can do that for this specific case, but longer-term we’ll want to put in place X, so we can get better results”
Trade-off (for when you have too much work or scope creep)
It means if I take this on, then something has to give
“Sure, we can do this, but help me understand what would be removed from the project?”
Contextual no (for odd requests)
It means show them a different way to get the final result
“Given that we agreed on X, the best way to get this done is Y.”
THREE: Map Their Power
Know who you need to spend the most time influencing.
Power Map
High influence + high interest
→ Decision-makers (buyers and direct managers)
Spend most of your time here
High influence + low interest
→ Execs, budget holders
Keep it sharp. No fluff.
Low influence + high interest
→ Champions (Your internal sales force)
Low influence + low interest
→ Noise
Where most people fail
They over-serve:
The enthusiastic middle manager
The engaged participant
The loudest voice
But ignore:
The actual buyer
The person with veto power
And then wonder why deals stall.
The Influence Up playbook will get you most of the way there, but if you want more… (get the cheat-sheet, listen/ watch the podcast, get the book!👇🏽)
If you like this issue about influencing up, check out:
What 400+ Behavioral Science Theories Tell Us About The Right Way to Influence (The ABC Behavioral Science Marketing Playbook)
Stop Selling and Start Creating the Conditions for Buy-In (The Anti-Pitch Playbook)
Stop Making Hard Work Look Easy (7 Situations Where Showing Effort Helps You Win People Over)
Change behavior, change lives 🤘🏽
Howie Chan
Creator of Influence Anyone
P.S. If you haven’t already, go take the free assessment and find out your influence style profile!
Don’t miss: The Influence Anyone Podcast
Want to dive deeper into how to manage those in charge?
In this episode, I sit down with executive coach and workplace influence expert Melody Wilding to discuss the most crucial strategies to get what we want from the people with more power and authority.
In this conversation we unpack:
• The subtle communication mistake that makes leaders tune you out in the first 10 seconds
• Why being “indispensable” can actually stall your growth (and what to do instead)
• The hidden leverage you already have—even when you’re the lowest-status person in the room
If you’ve ever felt like your your effort isn’t translating into opportunity, or your career and business is being shaped more by others than by you…
This conversation will change how you think about influence—and how to start using it.