The Invisible Force Affecting Your Success

Here’s your latest issue of Influence Anyone—where you get a strategy each week to influence human behavior for good from Howie and the Behavioring Company team.

When people perceive you in a way that’s NOT what you want, then you’re not attracting the opportunities you deserve.

At my first company Christmas party, there was this co-worker who was hilarious.

He told story after story. He had great timing and everyone was laughing.

People gathered around his table all night. I wondered who he was.

“This guy is the fun one.” said another co-worker.

And honestly? After getting to know him, he seemed to like that.

He liked making people feel comfortable.
He liked bringing energy into the room.

The problem was…

that version of him slowly became the dominant perception people had of him.

Not the strategist.

Not the person solving difficult client problems.

Not the one with sharp instincts and leadership potential.

Over time, he became known as:
“Funny.”
“Social.”
“The life of the party.”

And without realizing it…people started placing him into a box.

When leadership opportunities came up?

Others were described as having “executive presence”, not him.

When strategic conversations happened? He wasn’t invited.

Not because he lacked the skill or the experience.

But because he was perceived to be “fun” but not “strategic.”

And to be clear:

This doesn’t mean people shouldn’t have a personality.

Humor matters.
Warmth matters.
Charisma matters.

People are drawn to those traits.

But when one trait becomes your entire identity in someone else’s mind, that’s when it can become a barrier to opportunities and success.

Behavioral scientists call this categorization.

Our brains are constantly simplifying the world into mental shortcuts because it saves cognitive energy.

Once someone gets placed into a category, confirmation bias kicks in.

People start noticing the evidence that reinforces the label… and overlooking the evidence that contradicts it.

And those shortcuts quietly shape decisions:

Because we are wired to categorize things, these shortcuts become someone’s default for how they make decisions:

Who gets trusted.
Who gets promoted.
Who gets the high-visibility project.

So the big question is, do you know how others perceive you and is that what you desire?

Here is a simple framework I want you to try.

QUESTION 1:
What do people perceive you as TODAY? (List 5 current perceptions)

• What do people consistently come to you for?
• How do people introduce you?
• What traits get talked about most?
• What opportunities do you keep receiving?
• What parts of you are OVER-emphasized?
• What parts of you are UNDER-seen?

Now…

QUESTION 2:
What do I WANT to be known for? (List 5 desired perceptions)

• What opportunities do you want coming towards you?
• What rooms do you want access to?
• What conversations do you want included in?
• When people hear your name, what do your want them to think?
• What capabilities or qualities do you wish people noticed more?

The gap between those two perceptions? That’s where your opportunities are being lost. Because people can only act on the version of you they perceive.

And perception is built through repeated signals:

Your stories.
Your language.
Your behavior.
Your work.

So look at your desired perception and see how you can help others perceive that version of you more often.

Know that the goal isn’t about erasing who you are, it’s about making sure the perceptions you want people to have are the ones that actually exist.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

Change behavior, change lives 🤘🏽

Howie Chan

Creator of Influence Anyone

​Follow me on LinkedIn

P.S. 24% of respondents say they will shift perspectives to calm emotions in a tense situation. What would you do? Join 796 other leaders who’ve uncovered their natural influence style profile: Take the free assessment.