Here’s your latest issue of Influence Anyone—where you get a playbook each week to shape decisions, change behavior, and become impossible to ignore, from Howie and the Behavioring Company team.

…

May 26th, 1992, Anaheim, California.

It was the last day at the American Booksellers Association convention in Anaheim, and the rejections were piling up. 144 publishers have already said no.

The two co-authors looked determined, with copies of their manuscript in their backpacks, they continued to pitch their book.

Finally, on this third and final day, a small publisher said yes, but there was a catch. That they commit to buying 20,000 copies at $6 each. A $120,000 commitment. 😱

They looked at each other, grinned and said yes.

The relentless duo? Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, co-authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul. This book became the foundation of a publishing phenomenon. They eventually sold half a billion books (yes, billion, not million.)

Knowing the results of persistence will make anyone say “of course we shouldn’t quit”, but for every loud story of success, there are countless stories of failure never told. So the real question becomes:

When should we persist? How should we do that? And when should we call it quits?

I call this smart resilience.

I recently sat down with Mark on the Influence Anyone podcast, so let’s find out…

P.S. 🎁 I’m giving away free books, yes spending my own money buying and then sending you a book. Why? Because I love my readers. Details at the end of this email.

(If you want the deep dive, keep scrolling 👇🏽)

It’s surprisingly easy to rule ourselves out before anyone else gets the chance.

“I’m not a writer.”
“I’m not a runner.”
“I’m not creative.”
“I’m not a speaker.”
“I don’t have time.”

These thoughts make sense. They protect us from uncertainty, rejection, embarrassment, and the discomfort of trying something we might not be good at yet.

But they can also quietly become decisions.

Before anyone can invite us onto the stage, read what we wrote, hire us, or give us a chance, we’ve already taken ourselves out of consideration.

So if you want different opportunities, experiences, or a greater sense of significance and success, the first person who has to give you a chance is you.

Before others can CHOOSE YOU, you have to CHOOSE YOU.

Mark is a legend in the publishing world and as our conversation unfolded, I was curious about his principles for pushing through rejections and continuing to impact more and more people everyday.

Here are 7 distilled for you:

As promised, influence in 60 seconds.

Mark Victor Hansen knows something about rejection.

Chicken Soup for the Soul became one of the most successful publishing franchises of all time.

But first, Mark and his co-author Jack Canfield heard no. Again. And again.

And yet Mark describes himself as “pretty rejection-proof.”

So what makes someone rejection-proof?

In my conversation with Mark, I found seven principles for asking for what you want, persisting through rejection—and knowing when persistence is no longer the smart move.

I call it Smart Resilience.

Mark says asking starts with getting “crystal clear what you want.” His framework has three channels:

Ask yourself: What do I really want? → Clarity
Ask others: Who can help me get there? → Connection
Ask God: What am I not seeing? → Guidance

Clear goals give our attention and behavior a target. Once something matters to us, we become more likely to notice information and opportunities relevant to it.

It can feel like opportunities suddenly start appearing everywhere. Often, they were already there but your goal made them relevant enough to notice.

You can't effectively ask for what you want if you don't know what you're looking for.

“I don’t have the money. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to solve this thing.” Mark says that the problem with problems is that you need the right perspective to solve it. His advice is to give your mind a better question—focus it on the solution instead.

Mark's example is the title Chicken Soup for the Soul. After deliberately focusing on finding the right title, and giving their brains time to get creative, Jack woke up in the middle of the night with “Chicken Soup,” and Mark immediately completed it: “For the Soul.”

Instead of asking: “Why can't I figure this out?”

Try: “What might solve this?”

Give your brain a better problem to solve.

He has 50 years of journals and still writes down 10 goals every morning.

Writing externalizes a thought, making it easier to revisit, prioritize, and act on.

Writing a goal doesn’t make it happen. It makes it harder for it to remain just a thought.

Mark describes himself as “pretty rejection-proof.” That came after a lifetime of selling—and famously, 144 rejections for Chicken Soup for the Soul.

When we avoid asking because we fear rejection, the relief we feel can reinforce the avoidance. But when we ask, hear no, and discover we’re still okay, we give our brain new evidence. So adopt the mindset of expecting rejection every time and you’ll soon be brushing it off your shoulders.

You don’t become rejection-proof by avoiding rejection. You become rejection-proof by surviving it.

One of the reasons Mark could withstand so much rejection was having Jack Canfield beside him. His advice: find a partner, because “you’re gonna get rejected.”

Social support can buffer stress, give us perspective, and help us recover when things don’t go our way. That’s why having accountability partners, joining a group, can help us push through the hardest of times.

Sometimes resilience isn’t something inside you. It’s someone beside you.

Mark didn’t just believe in Chicken Soup. He spoke to audiences, collected orders, pitched publishers, and kept asking. By collecting written orders for the book before it published, it gave him and Jack to keep on going, even when publishers continued to say no.

Taking action creates feedback and small experiences that build our belief that we can affect outcomes.

Asking points you toward what you want. Action moves you toward it.

Mark sold 897,000 Christmas cards, then stopped because his time was better spent elsewhere.

As he put it:

That's a critical distinction. The sunk-cost effect can make us think:

I've already put five years into this. I can't quit now.

But those five years are gone regardless. A better question is: Given everything I know today, is the NEXT year worth investing?

Persistence isn’t always smart. Sometimes continuing means giving up something better.

We hear stories like Mark’s 144 rejections and take away the lesson: Never give up.

But I don’t think that’s quite right.

Sometimes resilience means continuing after 144 no’s. Sometimes wisdom means walking away after 897,000 yeses.

The question isn’t simply, “Do I still want to be successful?” It’s:

Am I still learning? Is there evidence this could work? Have I tried meaningfully different approaches? And knowing what I know today, is this still the best place to invest my next hour, dollar, or year?

Quit when you’re continuing mainly because of what you’ve already invested, rather than what you reasonably expect to gain next. Quit when the evidence has changed. Quit when a good opportunity is preventing you from pursuing a phenomenal one.

Smart resilience is knowing when to keep pushing towards the goal and when to pick a new goal.

🎁 14 copies of Owen’s new book Inner Propaganda left! Does no one reads books anymore? (this is hilarious btw) All you have to do is reply to this email and say “I want it!” and you get a free book.

Unfortunately this will only be for folks in the USA.

Professionals of influence, I’ll see you next Sunday!

Change behavior, change lives 🤘🏽

Howie Chan

Creator of Influence Anyone

P.S. What's one thing you are going to walk away from?