How do you influence others and yourself?
Uncover your natural influence style in as little as 2 min 16 seconds. Become more self-aware, more effective, and know your blind spots. 16 questions, entirely FREE.
“This quiz has very good questions that are not typical. It really made me ponder. Thank you for that!” BD
Dear {{ first name | Legend}},
how many people on average do you try to influence and convince every single day?
Kids at home
Team at the office
Partner in the car
Boss at work
Prospects on Zoom
Everything we want requires someone to do something.
And what I’ve found through my research is that we tend to default to our natural style of influence, (uncover yours) especially when we are in high pressure situations.
Then we immediately try to get them to our side using evidence or examples.
This is not effective at all.
Heartset: Get the sequence wrong and you’re going to fail
The typical way:
Figure out what you want them to think or do
Think of evidence or examples of why that’s the better way
Keep talking, keep trying
This is NOT going to help you get what you want and my conversation with two experts on the Influence Anyone podcast confirmed that. We dove into what 400+ behavioral science theories tell us about how to actually influence human behavior based on research. (Check out the 10 best lessons from the episode HERE.)
Dr. Tom Bowden-Green is an academic researcher specializing in the application of psychological theory to marketing and decision-making. He has spent years cataloging and organizing hundreds of behavioral science theories into practical frameworks leaders can actually use.
Luan Wise is a seasoned marketing practitioner, consultant, and educator specializing in social media and digital strategy. She bridges academic psychology and real-world execution — translating theory into campaigns that work in practice.
Together, they co-authored Marketing and Psychology: Understanding Customer Behavior with the ABC Approach, distilling hundreds of behavioral insights into one structured, usable framework for modern marketers (and I’d argue for anyone who wish to influence someone)
So instead of the typical way, try this 👇🏽
Mindset: Don’t start with ‘what to say’, start with ‘who it’s for’.
Stop asking: “What should we say?”
Start asking: “Who is this for — psychologically?”
Not their title, not how old they are, not how much they make. We need to instead understand their emotional state and context. These are the subconscious drivers of decisions.
Here’s a hypothetical:
Two people walk into a restaurant district; same age, same level of income, but they can make very different decisions based on their psychological state.
One just watched a horror movie. Slightly anxious. This person will lean towards a “safe” choice, one with many reviews and a crowd favorite.
One is on a romantic date. This person, however will lean towards a hidden gem. A little more secluded, a little less known.
So which person are we trying to influence? We need to start there.
“It’s not as simple as just saying we’re going to target millennials.”
Skillset: The ABC Behavioral Science Marketing Playbook
Audience: Diagnose the Mind
Before you write copy or think of what to say, answer this:
What emotional state are they in when they encounter us?
What personality traits are most responsive to this offer?
Are they motivated by status? Security? Belonging?
What social pressures influence them?
What risk are they trying to avoid?
Especially in B2B. Because B2B decisions aren’t just rational. They’re reputational.
When someone recommends a new CRM, they’re not just buying software. They’re risking their credibility.
“You make that wrong decision… the eyes are all going to be on you forever and ever.”
Brand: Engineer Memory
Don’t think of brand as a logo. Think of it as a lens for making decisions.
Here is an example:
If you’re buying a car, you are looking at all the specifications and how much it will cost. But when there is a brand, say Volvo or Mercedes Benz or Tesla, there is an instant feeling about that car beyond the specs.
That’s engineered association you’re experiencing — it made you recall what you know and what you feel about them and it became a lens for you to make that purchase decision.
“A brand is just a name… but when you say Apple, there’s suddenly all sorts of connotations.”
Subconscious association drives preference so use these levers:
Be relevant to your audience
Appear distinct from what’s out there
Clear over clever
Make it human and personal
Repeat over and over again
Choice: Structure the Comparison
“Everything is really reference dependent on that particular context.”
Everything we choose depends on what we are comparing it against and not at face value.
This concept is called mental accounting.
Where someone will drive 15 minutes to save $2 on gas, but won’t drive the same 15 min to save $100 on a $30,000 car.
It’s all in the comparison.
Smart leaders:
Set anchors intentionally.
Choose the comparison.
Reduce risk perception in high-stakes decisions.
Value is rarely absolute. It’s contextual.
And context is controllable by how you present it.
💡 Rule of thumb: If you don’t understand the audience, don’t try to influence
🧭 Bonus: The ABC Playbook in Action
If you like this issue about getting buy-in without selling, you’ll love:
How to Be the One They Remember and Promote (The Standout Playbook)
How to Become UNIGNORABLE (3 buyer-psychology influence tactics)
Stop Selling and Start Creating the Conditions for Buy-In (The Anti-Pitch Playbook)
Change behavior, change lives 🤘🏽
Howie Chan
Creator of Influence Anyone
P.S. If you haven’t already, go take the free assessment and find out your preferred influence style!
Don’t miss: The Influence Anyone Podcast
What if the reason your marketing isn’t converting — no matter how sharp the copy or how strong the offer — has nothing to do with tactics… and everything to do with sequence?
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Tom Bowden-Green and Luan Wise, co-authors of Marketing and Psychology: Understanding Customer Behavior with the ABC Approach, to unpack the behavioral science behind why most leaders build influence in the wrong order.
We dig into the ideas that didn’t make it into the newsletter:
Why targeting “millennials” is lazy psychology
What’s the deal with Luan’s red hair
Why value is never absolute — only comparative
And how reputational risk silently drives B2B decisions
If you’ve ever felt like your messaging is strong but something still isn’t clicking… this episode will show you the invisible psychological sequence that turns attention into trust and trust into choice.