The Real Reason People Aren’t Buying Your Ideas, Vision, and Offers

Dear {{ first name | Legend}},

Do you consider yourself a sales person? I don’t. But I’m convinced that if we want someone to buy into our ideas, vision, offers, we have to be able to sell.

The problem is when we think about sales, the image of a greasy used car salesman comes to mind. At least it does for me.

And that’s not helpful. I’m going to share something that is.

After interviewing dozens of experts on sales and negotiations, I’ve found this to be true 👇🏽

People don’t buy when they’re confused, when things feel unnecessarily difficult, or when they sense—even subtly—that they are being pushed into a decision before they are ready.

This might sound overly simplistic, but think about how many times we over complicate the issue.

Before we get into this, a quick note.

There’s a book I want you to read. It’s one of the most practical, applied breakdowns of sales psychology I’ve come across in a long time, and the author has graciously agreed to give Influence Anyone readers and listeners this book for free. Link at the end 🎁.

But first…

I had a conversation with Matt Sucha recently, CEO of Mindworx, bestselling author and consumer psychologist who has spent years working with banks, insurance companies, and large sales organizations, helping them improve conversion not by overhauling everything, but often by making very small, very precise changes to how they communicate.

We’re not talking about new marketing funnels or dramatic repositioning.

We’re talking about a sentence here, a framing there, a subtle shift in how something is presented.

And yet those changes can produce outsized results - one increased sales by 167%! (View YouTube video HERE)

At one point, he said something that was deceptively simple, but if you really take it seriously, it forces you to rethink how you sell:

This explains a lot of what business owners and leaders experience but struggle to articulate.

Because if the problem isn’t motivation, then what exactly is going on?

If you look honestly at how most of us approach selling, especially when something feels stuck, the instinct is almost always the same.

We explain more, hoping that more information will unlock the decision.

We follow up again, assuming persistence will eventually pay off.

We add urgency, create incentives, lower the price, or add more stuff, all in an attempt to make the offer feel more compelling.

And when those things don’t work, we begin to tell ourselves a story.

Maybe the lead wasn’t qualified.
Maybe the market is slow right now.
Maybe the offer isn’t strong enough.

But underneath all of that is a more uncomfortable possibility.

That the very act of pushing harder might be the thing that is causing the resistance in the first place.

As Matt puts it:

This is not a personality flaw. It’s a human response. It’s called psychological reactance.

And once you see it, you start to realize how many opportunities quietly slip away not because the customer didn’t want what you were offering, but because something in the interaction made it feel unclear, heavy, or unsafe.

Over time, these missed opportunities compound, think of the people you could have helped, but just never got the chance?

Matt shared an analogy in our episode that reminded me of what happened to me this winter.

My 2016 Honda Fit was stuck on the ice and my immediate instinct was to step on the gas and turn the wheels. It didn’t budge.

My neighbour hears me and comes out. He started to push and we couldn’t get it unstuck.

What did we do?

He brought out a huge bag of cat litter and scattered multiple handfuls all around my front tires. Why?

FRICTION.

I got back into the car and tried again. This time, the tires got traction and the car got out.

That’s the power of removing a barrier, versus pushing harder.

When we can’t get the other party to buy into our ideas and offers, we assume the solution is more information, more persuasion, more incentive.

The issue however is typically not that there is not enough motivation, the issue is that something is in the way.

This is the mindset shift:

You are not primarily in the business of convincing people.

You are in the business of identifying and removing the specific barrier that is preventing people from moving forward.

Here is how 👇🏽

In practice, most stalled decisions can be traced back to one of three types of barriers.

They may look different on the surface, but underneath, they tend to fall into these patterns:

Your role is not to guess which one it is. Your role is to uncover it and then resolve it.

They don’t know what this means for them. This is the most common barrier and the least obvious.

The conversation seems to go well. They nod, they agree, they say things like “that makes sense.”

And then nothing happens.

The reason is simple.

They cannot clearly picture what happens next, what changes in their world, or how this translates into something concrete. Think of the old adage “What’s in it for me?”

ASK

“What feels unclear or fuzzy?”

Give them permission to state anything that doesn’t make sense to them. If they say “nothing”, you can follow up with “how might you explain this to your team?”

If they struggle to explain it in their own words, it means they do not yet understand it at a level that allows them to act.

REMOVE

To remove this barrier, you have to replace abstraction with specificity.

Instead of describing outcomes in broad terms, you anchor them in tangible steps.

For example, rather than saying, “we’ll improve your funnel,” you might say, “the first thing we’ll do is rewrite your homepage headline, because that’s typically where we see the fastest lift in conversions.”

Clarity reduces hesitation because it reduces ambiguity.d

They don’t know how this will actually work in their reality.

In this case, the buyer may understand the value and even want the outcome, but the path feels too complex, too resource-intensive, or too disruptive.

ASK

“Where do you see this getting difficult?”

This question shifts the conversation from your solution to their reality.

And in doing so, it reveals the hidden friction points: team capacity, internal processes, technical constraints, skill gap, or simply a lack of time.

REMOVE

To remove this barrier, you are not trying to convince them it’s easy, you are making it feel manageable.

That might mean breaking the process into smaller steps, offering hands-on support, or explicitly reducing the scope of what is required to get started.

For example, “we don’t need your entire team involved; we can begin with just you and one person for a short working session.”

The goal is to transform the perceived effort from overwhelming to doable.

They don’t feel ready, safe, or confident enough to move forward. This is the most subtle and often the most decisive.

On the surface, it sounds like timing or priorities.

“We’re good for now.”
“Let’s revisit this later.”

But underneath, it is often about risk, control, and self-perception.

Will this be a good decision?
Will I look smart or foolish?
Am I being pressured into something?

ASK

“What would make this a bad decision for you?”

It works because it is directly asking them to reveal a hesitation for you to address. It gives the other person permission to express doubt without feeling judged.

REMOVE

Reduce pressure and restore a sense of control.

You make it clear that they are not being forced into a decision.

For example, “you don’t have to decide today; let’s just explore whether this even makes sense for you,” or “we can start with something small and see how it goes.”

There is a paradox here.

The more you push, the more resistance you create. The more you create space, the easier it becomes for someone to step forward.

There is one additional question Matt mentioned in the episode that is worth thinking about:

This revealed a critical flaw in his business and because of it, he was able to remove a hidden psychological barrier that boosted his business. Use this in your conversations with current clients to sharpen your messaging.

You are not losing people’s buy-in because people are saying no. You are losing them because the real reason behind the “no” is never uncovered.

So the next time something stalls, instead of defaulting to more effort, more persuasion, or more pressure, pause for a moment.

Step out of the car. Look under the wheel.

And ask yourself, with genuine curiosity:

What is actually in the way?

(One-page PDF covering five different frameworks HERE)

Matt is doing something that aligns with this newsletter issue. Instead of trying to convince you to buy his book, he removes the barrier entirely.

You can get it for free, read it, and then decide if it was worth paying for.

No pressure, no catch.

If you want it, you can get it here:
👉 https://thehiddenyes.com/influence

If you like this issue about influencing sales, check out:

Change behavior, change lives 🤘🏽

Howie Chan

Creator of Influence Anyone

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P.S. If you haven’t already, go take the free assessment and find out your influence style profile!

Want to understand why people say yes… without feeling like you’re selling?

In this episode, I sit down with Matt Sucha to break down what’s actually happening beneath the surface of every buying decision—and why most founders are solving the wrong problem.

In this conversation we unpack:

• Why making your offer more attractive can actually hurt conversions
• The hidden force called “uncertainty” that quietly kills even free offers
• A 167% increase in conversions—with just a few sentences changed

If you’ve ever felt like your offer should be working… but isn’t… or you keep pushing harder and getting nowhere…

This episode will completely change how you think about sales and what actually moves people to act.

🎧 Listen to the full episode on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or the web, or wherever you get your podcasts.